Blank Bates

NY Trip - Sunday

2010-12-29T18:41:00.011-07:00

We checked out of the Roger Smith, aka Gorilla in the Mist Hotel, left out bags with the bell boy and jetted off to our first day in New York City. We had breakfast at a diner that would best be described as a Denny's with flair. After our $45 eggs and toast, we decided to walk to Central Park in search of a playground for Little Miss. We entered Central Park, the walks lined with benches and huge beautiful trees in yellows, reds, and oranges. Street vendors were singing, playing saxophones and drums, drawing portraits, and selling all manner of pictures. There were tons of people meandering about or playing soccer or doing yoga. I fell in love with the Park, from almost the first steps we took into it. Searching for all the places that I could remember in the movies was fun, I even sang the "How Do You know" song from Enchanted while circling around by the bridge. Daddy took a great video of my madness.
We finally found the playground, and Little Miss went haywire. She tunnelled, she ran, she slid, she climbed, she ran, she swung, she... where is she? LITTLE MISS!! LITTLE MISS!! Daddy and I looked frantically for her. In the first 4 minutes I was just mildly curious as to where she went, at 5 minutes I was heart thumping, at 5 minutes and 30 seconds I remembered we were in NEW YORK, and at 6 minutes we were at full out HEART ATTACK. Several minutes after that, when Daddy and I had laid out a cris cross search pattern, we found Little Miss in a concrete tunnel on an adjacent park. Daddy didn't let her feet touch the ground the rest of the time in the Park. We had a long long long too long discussion about safety, which she probably didn't retain at all. Whew. Still. I loved the Park. We rode the old time carousel, watched people ice skate, and ate the first of many hot dogs from street carts.
We walked back for our bags and had the doorman hail us a cab. More than 8 cabs stopped, but when they found out we were only going to the Village and not the airport they took off. Finally we got a cab and made our way (very late) to our condo for the week. Our gracious landlord gave us the tour and left. The condo was smaller than my bedroom, on the 4th floor with no elevator, and hot as the dickens. But it was cheap, clean and a fantastic central location for our travels.
We took our first adventure on the subways that evening to Madison Square Garden for the Knicks v Rockets game. We came to love the subway, taking it everywhere. We are Masters of the Subway. We ate pizza at a corner bistro, YUMMY!! and I put Little Miss's Snapple in the inside pocket of my jacket. When walking into the Garden, security made Daddy throw away the Coke in his hand. We no more than got through the metal turnstiles than Little Miss yells "THANKS MOM FOR HIDING MY DRINK IN YOUR JACKET". It was hilarious and we SSsshshhhhhhhhhh'd her. She must have thanked me a million times during the game, all whispering in my ear. The tickets that we got through a favor were unbelievable. We were on the floor of the Garden! Little Miss actually loved the game yelling DE- FENSE all night and almost always at the wrong times. We had blow up whacking sticks to make noise and put up when the Rockets shot free throws.. very fun. Little Miss was asleep across our laps by the middle of the 4th quarter, so when the Rockets sealed the win with 8 minutes to go we took the subway home. It had been a Great Long Day. We got home and fell asleep shortly before midnight.

NY Trip - Saturday

2010-12-29T07:48:00.009-07:00

Saturday morning we woke up late. The Grooms family had breakfast accounted for and tables set up with cookies, sandwiches, drinks, snacks and the like to make packed lunches for the bus. We took touring buses into NYC. Little Miss sat with her buddy Lucy and played the whole 2 hour ride there. It was only a 45 min drive, gotta love NY traffic. We got dropped by the bus, leaving all our stuff for safe keeping, and literally RAN through Times Square to the Theatre District. Our huge group was 10 min late for Rock of Ages, but they shuffled everyone in discreetly. My first Broadway show on Broadway!! Tainted ever so slightly, only by the thought that this moment should have come with Auntie K sitting beside me. What an amazing show! A small cozy theater with a show full of loud and energetic 80's music. During the "strip club" scene, Little Miss asked me why the girls were dancing around in their underwear... and I replied that it was just like us dancing around the living room in ours. (blush) Later, after a reference to the Gentleman's Club... Little Miss told Daddy that he was a gentleman and she was his lady. Funny German Franz was my favorite character and I was the amusement of everyone by not knowing Dee Snyder was the front man from Twisted Sister. BORN in the 80's people... I didn't listen to Twisted Sister! Crystal ran up to me after the show apologizing for the content, but we waved it off as all in good fun. It went WAY over Little Miss's head. After the show, we lazily walked back through Times Square to our dinner venue of the evening. Carmine's. We were taken upstairs to the large back room. Pictures of mobsters, old movie stars, and old Times Square on the walls were awesome. We were seated 10 to a table, with 6 or 7 tables put back to back. We all were talking about how the restaurant was still owned by the mob and what scary and crazy things must have happened in that very room over the years. We had 12 or so courses over the next 2+ hours. Salad, broccoli (it was yummy), pastas, calamari, rack of lamb, fillet, eggplant Parmesan, shrimp, and then two desserts. There was so much food.. So Much Food! I thought I was going to explode. Little Miss was entertained by the man sitting behind me, who missed his two little boys and played games with her all night. Best Italian Dinner I have ever had. Hands down. An amazing experience of food. At 8:30, the early bus took the small minority of people back to NJ. We took our bags, said goodbye to Crystal and Kane, said a heartfelt Thank You to Mary and Kenny for the weekend, and got in a cab to our 1 night gap hotel room. We were on the 15th floor of an old classy hotel named the Robert Smith. I kept calling it other names, Robert Jordan, Hunter Smith, etc. It was clean and cute. We had a relaxing night and Little Miss watched Barbie then fell asleep on an old lounge next to our bed.

NY trip - NJ Wedding Thursday and Friday

2010-12-13T12:48:00.007-07:00

After lots of changes and turns and all, we were finally on our way to NJ for Crystal's wedding. Little Miss loves to ride and airplanes, but this would be her first flight of more than an hour or so. She kept asking when we were going to be in NY city. After takeoff. Can I have my coloring book? After takeoff. Tray table down? After takeoff. Once we actually got in the air, she was great. Watching out the windows and making up stories about flying animals kept her busy for a long time.

When we landed in Newark, we took a train to Morristown. We were told that a cab would be $75 but the train was only $35 and would be about an hour. No sweat, Daddy is sure that we need to learn the transit system early. After 2-1/2 hours, we arrived at the hotel. Never never never getting on a train in NJ again. I was absolutely sure that the $35 we saved was not worth it! Little Miss was at the end of her rope, we were at the end of our ropes, but ready to settle into our trip.

When we arrived at the hotel, we were given the itinerary for the wedding and a bag full of goodies from the wedding party. We walked a half mile to Cluck U for dinner. Daddy has been talking about this place for 10 years. He always tried to get Crystal to UPS him one next day air. GROSS. She never did. Because its gross.
Our dinner, however, was wonderful. Cluck U makes a sandwich called a Little Roman, which was great. We went to the ice cream social provided by the grooms family at the hotel. Saw Crystal for the first time in 3 years. Missed her bad, we both did.

Friday was Wedding Day. We walked to find somewhere for breakfast and then we were going to Washington's Headquarters. Not very exciting but there wasn't much to do without a car. We got to the headquarters, but oops.. didn't pass anywhere to have breakfast. We were all hungry. The museum was a bunch of old stuff. Surprise! The old house was having a tour, so we took it. Another hour, and Little Miss was touching everything in the BORING OLD STUFF HOUSE. We left and Daddy said "5 year old in a 100 year old museum house, um, Bad Idea. My bad". Now we had a very hungry and pent up 5 year old and a cold and cranky Mommy who have yet to eat. We let Little Miss play in the grass to get some energy out and went for pizza.

We took the shuttle to the church around noon. The Catholic in me showed through, standing/sitting and repeating the words. Daddy was mad that I quote "Didn't tell him the secret password to get the cracker". Sorry Catholic family, but it was humorous. Daddy just wanted to see if I would squirm when he threatened to get a cracker just to make Auntie K furious. Don't worry Auntie K. He didn't. The wedding was beautiful and in a great church. Crystal was shaking in a time honored tradition that I can relate to. She looked absolutely beautiful.

At the reception, we had great food and danced. We were at the "work" table and we know work people know how to have a good time. Kelly, Lars, Laura, and Hailey were good people and we hung out with them the rest of the wedding events. Crystal danced the night away, we joined her, Little Miss went until 11:30pm. She did fall asleep on my shoulder during the last slow song. Daddy tried to capture it, but she woke up when he flashed the first time. It was adorable. To say that this was the most thoughtful and elaborate wedding that I have ever been to - Would be an understatement. Flat shoes in multiple sizes for women to change into, free food everywhere and sometimes homemade, drinks all night, and thoughtful people always around to direct and help.

HaLloWeEn 2010 (it lasted for 10 days)

2010-12-06T10:55:00.013-07:00

We had a crazy 2010 Halloween, um, season. We had pumpkin patch day, we had swim class dress up day and parade, we had pumpkin carving, we had Trick or Suiting, and of course the actual Halloween... phew. It was amazing and fun and wow busy busy. It was made ever more meaningful by the sudden departure of our dear friends, the Spice family, who moved far far away.

First was the pumpkin patch. We drove all the way out to a patch on the outskirts of town for the "flavor" of farm. The Spice family, Houles, and Nasons all came.. it was great big group fun. The kids rode horses, did a petting zoo, hay maze, games, hay rides, roping, and of course Pumpkins. Each kid did their best to get a timeout, but they were thoughtful enough to do it at separate times! Daddy refused to pick a pumpkin, so Little Miss and I did the honors. Mine had a wicked scar that I had plans for...but didn't end up using... such is creativity's way. We were invited by the adoption agency to attend a Hilton event, Trick or Suite. We went with the Houles and Spice families. Prior to the event, thoughtful costumes were delivered to our houses by our respective representatives. We were floored. Expecting Tshirts or paper craft costumes, Little Miss got a full blown Belle dress. Her best friend Asha got Ariel.
On the day of the event, we carpooled to the Hilton because it was downtown. We had a malfunction of a seat belt and ended up taking 2 cars instead of 1... much to my dismay but Chris's obvious delight. Only 1 boy in her car! At the Hilton, we had a nice dinner and then were split into 2 groups. We got a nice little show and tell display from the Zoo while the first group trick or treated. The show was all spiders and snake stuff... so Mrs Spice kept her distance... it was hilarious. When we got to trick or treat, we were AGAIN blown away. Each hotel room was a different theme, each group of people elaborately dressed up to match, and most had games for the kids to play and candy to hand out. We learned while walking that the Hilton employees are financially responsible for their own suites, the decorations, the ideas, the candy, etc. The employees switch hotels and swap shifts to cover the ones doing the event and they throw the party every night for 1 week- each time for a different disadvantaged group: foster/adopted, medical disability, low income, veterans kids, etc. We don't hear enough about these kinds of events. The people of the Hilton touched my heart that night. Mine and every other person attending, kid or parent. Pics were tough cause the rooms were small, but I got a great one of Little Miss with the Wizard of Oz group... which was in my top 5 favorites.. but by no means best of show that night... to give you some perspective of how great it was.
We did pumpkin carving at our house and were delighted when the Childs came! Racer had hockey, so we ate and delayed and delayed... then Princess, Bella, and Little Miss started their pumpkins. I was the master of the pumpkin design, Daddy was the kids Carver Assistant, and everyone got mucky gooey arms! Luckily Auntie K and Racer made it for most of the fun.Then lastly came Halloween night. It was Sunday. It was a school night. It was a religious day. It was the shortest Halloween I have ever seen. Kids started coming at 7pm and stopped coming at 7:45pm. Racer, Princess, and Little Miss were the first kids out. We thought no one was going to be trick or treating. There were a good number of kids out in our neighborhood, but not for a long time. Odd. The best part of Halloween was my new decoration... Napoleon Blownapart... HA ha ha ! I LOVE HIM! I thought he might scare Little Miss.. but she helped me set him up and was totally fine.

Thoughts on the Eve of my Birthday

2010-09-26T19:53:00.003-07:00

It is late on a Sunday, and with little else to do... I am contemplating how to catch up the blog. There has been so much going on, life just seems to fly by. Little Miss had her 5th birthday, I had knee surgery, and we took 15 people camping for 3 days.
So, here are some of my favorite moments from the past few weeks.
* Hailey's birthday party. We had 12 kids from all walks of our life. We had her party at McDonalds, which was the easiest thing in the world. But my favorite part of the night was twofold. One was that we got to see many of our adoption friends all together, foster and natural children alike. Second, Daddy was the child monitor. He helped kids on the slide, opened all the nugget sauce packets, took pictures, and cleaned up kids messes. Love you Daddy!
* My knee surgery was no big deal. Just a little cleanup from a domestic accident last October that wouldnt go away... but my very very over active life was not conducive to being out of commission. Little Miss was very attentive, my round the clock nurse. She brought me reading material, drinks, snacks, and asked me every 30 seconds if I needed something. I am now 2 months post surgery and starting to do things normally. Still no softball or hiking or fun things like that, but my range of motion is back, if only the strength would return.
* Camping. What a fiasco. Can I just say that every time we go camping with other people that it turns into drama? We were taking Papa, the Spice family and Child family camping. We ended up with the Child family, Papa, the Naked Boys, and a friend of a friend. We left 3 hours and $900 later than we were supposed to... but ... we had a FANTASTIC Time. There were 5 kids all 5 and under. Daddy caught 5 fish, the kids caught 1 million crawdads, we all sat around the campfire telling stories, and the kids all got so dirty it was hard to tell who was Little Miss and the Naked boys and who was PigPen.
** I was fidgeting in my sleeping bag, trying to get comfortable because I knew the day was soon beginning. I slept alright, but needed just a few more minutes of wake up time. I love that time in the morning, camping especially. You can hear the rustle of the forest. The sun starts to illuminate the tent. You smell a little campfire smoke, a little grass, a little rain and a little dirt all mixed in. The glorious thought that I always have at this moment is "There is nothing to do today but whatever I want. Thank you God for this beautiful moment". But this Saturday morning, I get a 5 year old freezing cold nose pushed to my nose. A barely audible "Mom", "Mom". I peak open one eye barely a sliver to see Little Miss in all of my view. "Mom - I LOVE sleeping in a tent!" she says. "That is great" I reply, "try doing it some more" ha hahahaha. Yeah. We didnt. We got up. But I just love that my pink pink princess pink daughter has the love of camping that her Dad and I do.

And when I find my camera... I will post some pictures!

KINDERGARTEN!!

2010-08-08T20:15:00.007-07:00

Little Miss has several big events coming up, but none as exciting for her as starting Kindergarten. She calls it Big School. Her preschool is little school. We have been talking about going to Kindergarten for weeks now.

Little Miss was very very excited to get ready for school. Her school, although public, requires a uniform. Little Miss and I went shopping at thrift stores, Old Navy, and Walmart to give her a whole new wardrobe. She was so excited to wear her NEW clothes. She wanted to pack her backpack, get her lunch from the fridge, make sure her hair was done, and then she wanted to go go go go go right now...
Now for anyone who knows me, you know that I am a maticulous planner. Not just the little things either. I am a type A, ridiculously detailed planner. How did I miss the fact that on the first day of school... there might be 1 or 2 or 100 people who all decided to take their kids to school... and therefore GRIDLOCKED the streets leading to the school? Luckily for me, I was still on crutches from my knee surgery. The loading zone guard was sympathetic to my handicapped self. Its possible that I may have led her to that sympathy with a little desperation and persuasion. She let me park in the loading zone, and crutch through the school. :)

Little Miss made it to the first day of school with a whole 4 minutes to spare. I got her in line just as the teachers came out to get the kids. She was so cute. She was excited and ready to go. I wonder how long THAT will last.

Side note: I have seen soccer moms, softball moms, choir moms, etc all in their fierce modes... but the faces, determination, and grit coming from the Kindergarten Moms was unparalleled on the first day of school. I am soo glad Daddy is taking her to school from now on!

Baby Shower for Auntie Kari

2010-08-08T19:37:00.011-07:00

Auntie K and I put on a baby shower for Auntie Kari. We miss Uncle M immensely! The news that he would not be coming home before being stationed in Georgia was a shock to our family. We are going to miss his hugs. We are going to miss the birth of his baby girl, which made our baby shower all the more important. Auntie Kari is flying out to meet him next week. We are all so sad to not be able to kiss our newest family member after her birth, hold her and snuggle her. We pray that Uncle M and Auntie Kari have everything that they will need.

Family was the main theme of our shower for Auntie Kari. We also focused on baby names, as Auntie Kari and Uncle M have yet to name their little girl. I have found a great connection, an old friend from high school, who does amazing things with cakes and baking. I gave her 20 little girl names and she put together these amazing looking and yummy cupcakes!
We played unusual shower games. My versions of some old classics... giving clothes pins when someone says your word (sorry Auntie Kari.. all's fair in love and war), Nerf shooting at baby names, etc. We had a great time.
Auntie Kari had presents from us, Grammy, cousins, aunts abroad, etc. We opened presents, more presents, and more presents. It took some coaxing to get Auntie Kari to stop hiding her preggers belly, but eventually she caved. I love preggers bellies. Maybe its because I know that I will never have one. Maybe its because I wanted one so badly... I don't know. But we took as many of them as she could handle.
We had a great time giving the shower... we hope that Auntie Kari had as much fun as we did. We caught Little Miss trying to get after some more cupcakes while we were cleaning up... nice try little girl... but those are for MOMMY!

Our First Flying Bates Vacation

2010-08-08T18:52:00.013-07:00

One of the most frustrating parts of the adoption process for Daddy and I, amongst many many other things, was that we couldn't take Little Miss out of the state. Daddy and I travel frequently, taking long weekends to see National Parks, family, fun places, relax, etc. No travel made for Grumpy Bates! Finally... finally... finally... the time came. Daddy's last boyhood friend was getting married in Denver. That is also where most of Daddy's family and old friends live, so there was much much to do on our long weekend. Here is the story of our trip:

Leaving the house with our suitcases was very exciting. Little Miss wanted to know when the airplane was coming to pick us up. Ummm.. no. The airplane goes to the airport. Well, she replied, how do we get to in? This was the first of many confusions for our first traveler. She thought the airplane, bus, and train all came to the house... that every airport was one Airport...

Little Miss took her first ride on a bus, airplane, and train this trip. She walked along with her backpack, watching every single step of the process. She thought it was nice of the Security people to keep us safe. She didn't understand why Apple Juice was unsafe and had to throw it away. But the biggest worry was putting her shoes through the x-ray machine. She was not quite sure where her shoes were going. After much much much convincing, she put them on through!

Once on the plane, Little Miss wanted to play her Leapster, get a drink, put down the tray table, and color. After each request, I told her "After Takeoff". It took 3 times before it occurred to me that Little Miss didn't know what that WAS. She was a great flier and loved the experience... thank goodness... since we fly so much!

When we arrived in Denver, Daddy's best friend and family picked us up and we drove to their house. We stay with them every time we are in town. Little Miss and Anta (our 6 year old God daughter) were fast friends in the car. They built a circus tent on the couch at the house and stayed up until well after 1am whispering and giggling. We stayed 3 days in their house. Little Miss stayed up past midnight every single night. We watched Sam play softball, went to Cris's wedding and saw Daddy's old friends, and had a BBQ the next day. It was a very relaxing and fun time. We learned that Little Miss and Anta are both bossy Stink Face givers, and that they are TOO much alike to be friendly for very long. They fighting lasted all weekend. We learned that I watch a little too much SYTYCD at home, as Little Miss danced all night long at the wedding... by herself, to the beat, and totally oblivious to everyone watching!

Ramz and family took us to the Denver Zoo on the way to Daddy's uncle and aunts house. The day was perfect and was the best end to our time together, minus the rain delay that we waited out in the penguin exhibit!!

We said sad goodbyes to our friends, and Hello to Daddy's family in Denver. We stayed one night. Annie took Little Miss for pizza (after she refused to eat dinner of steak, asparagus, and cheesy rice) and came back 2 hours later with stuffed animals. I think Annie got a little more than she had bargained for. 4 year old stubborn, exhausted, nervous and scared will is too much for the uninitiated!

Daddy had a late night catching up with his cousins, while Little Miss and I had a battle of wills in the basement... which was fine because I finished my journaling for the trip!

Our first trip was great. Little Miss didn't miss a beat. She met a ton of new people, stayed in new places, and tried a TON of new things. We were worried she might overload, but she was fine. We missed the boat on that one! Going on a fun adventure wasn't too much to handle.... COMING HOME WAS!

Honorary Mention goes to Ramz... who got a visectomy in order to have the time off for our trip... Crazy Ramz.. CRAZY but we love you!

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

2010-07-05T15:22:00.012-07:00

I love the 4th of July. Nothing is better than remembering the best things about being American. Freedom of Speech. Freedom of Religion. BBQ and Family. We hosted the in town family at our house Sunday for the annual party. We started by playing pool wars. We had 4 adults (Mommy, Daddy, Auntie K, and Papa) and all 3 kids (Little Miss, Racer, and Princess) in the pool with 8 water guns, 5 noodles, and 1 floaty also known as the Gun Ship. We had massive wars, kids v adults, everyone v Papa, etc. It was great fun. The kids kept yelling "FIREWORKS" then shooting the water guns in the air. We all clapped and oooooh'd and aaaaaah'd at their show. The water was perfect and the sun was just setting.

Daddy and I bought a 1/4 of a cow that we have named Gertrude from our boss, who is a rancher. The meat is super aged and yummy and we have a lot of it! So, thanks to Gertrude and Fry's Grocery store, we had quite the spread for our party. We ate inside and outside and all night long.
The kids watched movies and played Wii while most of the adults played Mexican Train Dominoes. We ACTUALLY finished an entire cycle of 13 games from 12 to blank. And thanks to all my hooligan supporters... I am the CHAMPION. It should have been Uncle Ray who was the leader all the way... until I blocked him and offered rewards to everyone else to do the same. Cutthroat Dominoes.... aha aha ha!
We interrupted our dominoes to jump in Joe, drive to a great little spot and watch the fireworks. The kids oooooh'd and aaaaaaah'd and then got itchy in the grass and wanted to go home. We stuck it out, threw some Pop Its in the parking lot to the crowd of dozens of kids whose parents didn't have counterfeit fireworks. (Note to the neighbors: the bottle rockets going off were not coming from MY house last night... they were coming from my YARD)
We all stayed up until MIDNIGHT, even Little Miss... who gave me the Stinkface when I told her No to having more snacks at 11:30pm. How do you explain to a 4 year old that they stayed up all the way until TOMORROW and so NO.. she could not have more ice cream!

All in all we had a FANTASTIC day. The party was a fun time and we love hanging with the family. Special shout out to Grammy, the Lawson family, and Uncle Matt... we missed you all terribly.

Corn and Farmer John

2010-07-05T15:09:00.006-07:00

The farmer who operates the field by our house planted corn. We have been watching it grow with great interest. Basically Daddy has been waiting to reenact his corn stealing days from his youth. Little Miss and I had never actually TOUCHED corn stalks, so Daddy took us for a half mile walk to the corn. He was actually somewhat aghast that I have never been in a corn field, and was somewhat nervous about what happens in the stalks. "If you build it..." was all I could think... that and horrible memories of Children of the Corn. We walked to our corn field, but unfortunately it had been recently irrigated. No walking through the stalks for me. We did take a good nature hike, with Little Miss appropriately in her Sunday dress. We saw horseshoe imprints, watched a hive of fire ants go BANANAS when Daddy poured irrigation water on them, touched the corn stalks, walked through the weeds and bugs, and had a great time. Now every day when we drive by the corn field, Little Miss says she hopes Farmer John doesn't cut down OUR corn. She wondered where it will go then was all upset that Daddy said they were probably going to feed it to cows. "Mom, we don't HAVE any cows" ... ha ha .. had to explain it wasn't really "our" corn. No need for cows!

Update...

2010-05-02T18:53:00.012-07:00

Things have been such a whirlwind since our Adoption Day. Racer had his birthday party at the Science Center. The kids all got to dig for fossils, make dinorsaur masks, then go into the full Center.. where kids and adults played (more the adults I confess!) until it closed. Little Miss had a great time. Racer loves science, dinosaurs, and the Center.. his enthusiasm is catching! Little Miss was so exhausted, she did something she had never done for us before... fell asleep in the car!

Little Miss has gotten used to her routine. She participates more in her classes, brings home more art... and has started to convince Daddy that art is fun. Truthfully, he has been a great sport.. evidence here with the colored styrofoam necklace that she made him, but alas he is a big guy... so it became a Daddy Crown instead!

Next came Easter. Little Miss really enjoyed this. She understood that Grammy sent her pretty dresses, we ate bunches of candy, there were a ton of extra people at church, and we got to spend all day at Auntie K's house. At least its a start! After church, we met the whole family at Auntie K's. We played the Annual Family Croquet Tourney, which I have won the past few years. This year, despite some hilarious antics, I came in second to Papa. Its good to know that the only one who can beat you, is in fact the man who Taught you to play in the first place. Just as a side note, the only thing anyone will remember from this year is Uncle M hitting Auntie K's ball so hard it went across the yard into the sand box... and that we made her play it from there! We laughed all afternoon! The kids all swam (Brrrrr!) and then did the traditional egg hunt.

A last note to my month of a million things to do and overcome, Daddy and I have been ridiculously frustrated lately. Little Miss has seemed to regress in her behavior, all signs leading to 6 weeks post adoption that she is finally figuring out that she isnt going anywhere else.. that forever means F_O_R_E_V_E_R! So, on top of work getting into the busy season, we have to deal with issues from 6 months ago. Frustration is at an all time high. So, we decided that we were missing the forest for the trees. Both of us are making conscience and purposeful attempts at enjoying the here and now, and making sure that Little Miss is too. In that light, here are a few pics from a random day last week when the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the family spent an hour and a half out back before dinner. We played with the dogs, pointed out funny shaped clouds, and my favorite.. took a moment to breathe and enjoy it.

FAMILY DAY !!!!

2010-03-20T11:04:00.024-07:00

This past Thursday, just two short days ago, was the Bates Family Day. The OFFICIAL ADOPTION OF LITTLE MISS!!!!! Yeah... woo woooo... Awesome! We got certified in July, found out about Little Miss in September, and she came to live with us October 2nd. So, it seems like forever that we have been waiting for finalization, but really its only been 5 long and glorious and stressful months. Surprisingly short in adoption time lines. 13 months from the day we took our first certification class to the day Little Miss was officially OURS. Here is how Family Day went:

Our day started out much the same as any other weekend might have. We all got up, took turns in the shower, ate some cereal, and got ready to leave. There was palpable excitement in the air. Little Miss kept asking me if the Judge would like this hair clip or that one. Would the Judge like this pair of shoes or that one? I gave her a new dress that we had been saving for a special occasion. She wanted her long curly hair down, but that is always just a hassle. So we compromised with the sides braided to the back. Auntie K calls it the Princess Braid. We were all ready on time and in the car. Called Auntie K to make sure she was on her way, then turned around to get the camera we forgot, then called Papa to tell him to come... We forgot to tell Papa that our Judge was at the courthouse near his house, not downtown. I felt HORRIBLE. But Papa went with the flow, and with 20 minutes until our hearing.. jumped in his car and came to the courthouse... scruffy and all!

We walked into the wrong building, called Little Miss's caseworker in frantic mode, found out we were just around the corner from where we should have been. Back in the car, around the corner, through security... and Just in time. We said hello to our caseworker, Hailey's caseworker, and our lawyer. Auntie K was a few minutes late, so we shuffled our feet walking into the courtroom. She came speed walking around the corner with Racer and Princess in tow, just in time!

We sat at the tables, with our family behind us, and told God and Country that we would like to keep Little Miss forever. I had to answer a bunch of questions, Daddy answered that his answers were the same, then the Judge said a little sch peel and Granted our request for Adoption! Everyone was all smiles.. except Little Miss. She was so nervous and embarrassed at all the attention that she jumped into Daddy's arms and wouldn't look at any of the cameras. The poor Judge had perma grin for like 8 minutes straight while we tried to coax Little Miss to turn toward everyone.

We went outside, took pictures and pictures and pictures. Here are a lot of them...

Then Papa went to get ready for work. We hugged him and loved him and thanked him for coming on ubber short notice and apologized again for the screw up. Then all the Bates and the Powers (minus the working Uncle R) went to a celebratory breakfast at the very fancy and exclusive hole in the wall diner Giant Hamburger. No, don't turn up your nose. If you have never been, then you can not imagine the Yummi-ness that comes from this small family owned diner. It just so happened that our Family Day, that was scheduled 6 months ago, fell on another important day. It was Racer's 8Th birthday. He was very gracious and allowed us to co-celebrate our Family Day on his Birthday. He ate his pancakes like a wild animal, we played hilarious games with floating napkins, then we all went back to our house to change for our next adventure.
Auntie K and family are members at the Zoo. To say they go often does not do them justice, but it is always a fun family time to walk, stroller, and skip through the Zoo. Auntie K is our own personal tour guide, and twice this trip, gave us fun little facts just moments before the Train Tour guy said the exact same thing. She should work part time giving people tours. There were so so SOOOOO many people at the zoo, that Daddy let us all out and went on his parking adventure that lasted 35 minutes. We realized that not only were people in town for Spring Training, but that it was Spring Break! The zoo was like Disneyland. People were everywhere.
We rented our strollers, so the kids could take breaks, and went out on our adventure. We walked the whole zoo. We saw the bears right up close, on the backside of the enclosure. We watched the baby orangutan. She is so cute and funny every time we go.
Little Miss, Racer, and Princess took turns pushing each other in the strollers. All in all... we were at the zoo for a little over 4 hours.. a record for us! It was also the most beautiful 85 degree day. You could not have scripted better weather.
We all went home to relax and recoup from our outdoor adventure. At 6:30pm, the whole gang came over to our house. Uncle M, Auntie Kari, Papa, Mimi, Uncle R, Auntie K, Racer and Princess all came. We ate pizza and wings, had Birthday Brownies, and had a fun time. Uncle M and I challenged Racer and Daddy to a Mario Kart duel. We raced something like 8 races. During one, Racer was in the lead but Daddy was right on his heels. The whole family was cheering and laughing and giving encouragement... Watch Out... Go Left.. Here he comes... OOOHHHHh.... and Racer pulled out his victory with only a hair splitting him with his uncle. When he crossed the finish line, he fell to his knees with a victorious Scream! We all laughed at his excitement for several minutes before we could start the next race! All in all, Uncle M and I creamed the red team of Racer and Daddy... and I would like to say that it was entirely due to the amazing skills and tricks and hands of... Uncle M. I am not so consistent when it comes to Mario Kart... but boy did we all have fun. Little Miss and Princess played Memory in her room for close to 2 hours straight. At 9:30pm everyone went home.

I put Little Miss to bed. She was exhausted and excited and unsure how to calm down. We read from our bedtime story book and when she laid down, we said our prayers. Little Miss thanked Jesus for her room, her toys, and for letting her be Little Miss Bates. It was so cute.

What a beautiful and perfect Family Day. It wouldn't have been better. Ok, maybe if we had stopped to have a Cherry Slurpee...

Changes

2010-03-20T10:54:00.002-07:00

There has been so much going on. Little Miss had her surgery. Mommy started her new position, working less hours and closer to home. Daddy started his new position, working more hours and farther from home. Little Miss went back to preschool.

I went back to the Mayo Clinic to have my yearly checkup. After surgery once or twice a year since I was 20, to clear my endometriosis, I decided to have a very lengthy and new surgery. Dr. Wizard perfomed my surgery the day before Thanksgiving 2006. I have been surgery and pain free ever since. I have a yearly follow up done to make sure I am still in remission. My follow up this year was not so bueno. Not only did I have pain during my exam, but I was scheduled for tests that showed that my disease is indeed back. I have an appt with Dr. Wizard in mid-April to go over our options.

So, between my health and new job.. Daddy's new job... Hailey's recovery.. the recurrance of her nightmares... and her pending adoption... I was stressed. Not only stressed, but exhausted. I developed shingles, which made matters worse.
Mommy was very much looking forward to turning around not only her heatlh, but her spirits.

Tonsils Out... Be gone!

2010-03-20T10:23:00.007-07:00

Little Miss had her tonsils and adenoids out on March 1st. She was behaving fine and enjoying the new sites and sounds at the hospital, that is until they tried to wheel her away from Mommy and Daddy. TOTAL FREAK OUT!! So much so, that the nurses and doctor had to put a banana suit on Daddy, cap and mask and all, so that he could carry Little Miss into the operating room. She gripped him so hard, I thought she was going to bruise his neck. Daddy came back from the exchange feeling very guilty. He thought Little Miss would hold it against him when she woke up.

We went to the cafeteria and ate some breakfast and went back upstairs. They were ready for us when we walked in the door - Perfect Timing! Little Miss was still groggy but fighting the poor nurses trying to get the tube out of her throat. I started talking to her and she all but Leapt at my voice, coming over the bed railing and all. The nurses took away the bed and brought me a recliner to hold her in. When we were ready for our room, Little Miss was awake enough to ask for Daddy (as he is her security blanket)and so she rode to her room on his lap in a wheelchair.

We spent the next 26 hours in a very cool room at the new Childrens Hospital. We watched Hannah Montana.. twice, Tinkerbell Lost Treasure... twice, Tale of Despereux, Bedtime Stories, Backyardigans, Dora... and the list goes on. Little Miss was having a ball eating nothing but ice cream and treats!
Our friend, Mrs Spice, was fantastic and brought Little Miss a gift bag of goodies but more importantly FOOD... real FOOD... for Mommy and Daddy! We ate chicken alfredo and Brownies! It was awesome. Papa stopped by right before bedtime to let Little Miss know that everyone was thinking of her, and Auntie K was nice enough to feed our dogs LUNCH while we were at the hospital... who feeds their dogs lunch??

The night was the worst. Not only did Little Miss have nightmares disturbed enough to set off the cardiac arrest monitors, but the nurses coming into the room and touching her was very traumatic. Even though I was sleeping in her bed, holding her, the whole time... we barely slept at all. The nightmares would continue once we went home.

The whole week Little Miss stayed home from preschool, having Mommy/Daddy then Papa and Auntie K watching her. She never had a problem with her throat, just a problem eating anything but ice cream once she was better!! We are so excited that she is going to be better now.

Meeting Grammy/Uncle M marries new Auntie Kari

2010-02-27T15:25:00.004-07:00

Well, this had been a week I will remember for a long long long time. My brother, Uncle M, announces that Miss K and he are having a baby. CONGRATULATIONS! A few days later, they announce they are getting married in 1 week... Holy Maj ole! Hyper over drive. Auntie K and I get dresses, which Miss K found in a Goodwill store 2 or 3 days before the wedding... surprisingly very nice. They almost perfectly fit and need a little steam and hemming. And yes, for everyone who knows me, that is Mommy in a Dress. There was mad scramble to get flowers, dresses, etc etc ready. I found a lastminute.com ticket for Grammy to fly out for the wedding very last minute. I booked her ticket on Monday morning and she arrived Tuesday night at midnight!

After many stories, skyping talks, and mailings... Little Miss meets Grammy. She knew who she was immediately. The two were joined at the hip for every moment they were together. Grammy was a little hesitant to use the word NO, since their time was so short... NO... say it with me Grammy... NO.

Uncle M married Miss K, now referenced as Auntie Kari... as Auntie K is taken. It was a very cute and simple ceremony. No kids, just adults and only a dozen at that. The atmosphere was thoughtful and light. For being planned in a week, I thought it was very nicely done. The guests, ok only Auntie K and I.. plus Auntie Kari's sister, were taking hilarious Vogue pictures while we waited for paperwork stuff. Charlies Angels, Lifted hem, blowing kisses.. and this great shot of Daddy pretending to kiss Mommy... very romantically blowing air instead of kissing. Very momantic Daddy.. Goof ball... Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Uncle M.

The reception was touching and all 7 kids were going crazy out back. It was a beautiful night and we had some very nice pictures taken. But alas, it was a school night, and Little Miss after 9pm is a very finicky creature that must be handled with care.

Meeting Suk and T

2010-02-27T15:00:00.003-07:00

On the last Thursday of January, Daddy's mom and step dad came to visit for the first time to meet Little Miss. Little Miss was excited to meet them and was very surprised when Suk came with me to pick her up from school. We went to dinner, colored, watched cartoons, and had a very nice couple of days.
Daddy hadn't seen his mom in sometime, so it was fantastic that they came to visit. Suk and T promised to teach Little Miss to play in the snow and ski when she came to visit them at their house. T was a good negotiator and got Little Miss to agree to 12 more trip, not 11. We have the next few years on contract!
On Saturday morning, I went to wake up Little Miss. I found her playing Dr with Suk on her bed. They had given all her stuffed animals complete check ups! What a good sport.

Silly Daddy or should I say Tree Killer

2010-01-14T19:02:00.003-07:00

It has ever been thus, Daddy professing his machoism with the phrase "I could pull that tree out by the ROOTS". In parking lots, out in the forest, at friends houses, you name it and Daddy has claimed to be strong enough to rip it from the ground. This is good fun, where I get to goad him about how there is NO WAY he could pull it from the ground. It has been a back and forth we have enjoyed many many, oh so many, times in our 11 years together. Our precious Longnose, about 5 months ago, decided to strip a tree in the backyard of its bark. Despite many attempts at loving medicinal treatments, the poor tree could not pull through.

Daddy decided to plant a Peach tree in its place, while at Costco all of a sudden, a peach tree it was. So, Daddy and I went out back. I am usually quite a good helper. Jokingly we call me Jordi when we are doing projects (cause I loved his glasses). But, with the torn ACL, this was not a job for me. Daddy started laughing and said, "I can just pull this out by the roots". Well, if there was ever an appropriate way to try... this was it. Now, the tree in question was dead, but with around a 7-8" diameter trunk.

So, I made Daddy wait while I got the camera to capture what was sure to be a memorable moment.... and boy was it ever. I have laughed a dozen times or more, holding my stomach. Auntie K wants me to send it to America's funniest home videos... but no. This is just for me and mine to enjoy... so ENJOY.

#10 Memorize a Bible Verse

2010-01-10T17:17:00.002-07:00

Cool moment just now. Little Miss made a sign at Sunday school today. It says "Love God" and is attached to a popsicle stick. She walked around after church holding it up for people to read, and got a good number of people to chant when she held up her sign. Our pastor wrote a bible verse on the back of her sign.

At home, Daddy was making dinner and Little Miss was chanting "Love God, Love God, Love God" walking around the kitchen holding her sign like a Picketing Labor worker. She came and asked me what was written on the back, and I said "John 3:16".
Now I know that this is like the most known verse on Earth, but when my 4 year old said "Mommy what is that" and I responded. Not from a bible, or a church sheet, I told her that it was a verse from that pink Bible she loves so much. That it says "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish from this Earth". She smiled, then changed her chant to "John 3- 16", in the same picket line method.

Daddy told me to update my 101 list, as I just quoted a bible verse all by myself. Yeah Me!

Doctor Bates

2010-01-08T19:52:00.006-07:00

Little Miss decided tonight that playing Doctor would be fun. Her usual subjects (Mr. Bell the Bear, Sara the Cat, Loppy the Mouse, and Mr Turtle) were all upstairs, and she wanted to play downstairs where Mom and Dad were. Daddy offered Longnose and Blackbear as subjects. Surprisingly, Longnose was much more patient and willing to go with the flow. I thought for sure that the doctor toys would end up in her mouth. But other than a few looks at me that seemed to say "Seriously, do you see what is going on over here?", she sat for over 20 minutes while Little Miss gave her a thorough check up. We discussed shots, medicine, bandaids, pumping pressure, and even being too tired. Little Miss had a great time. Our great big dogs are finally getting used to being ruled by a 4 year old.
(Longnose's face here tells the story better than I could.. DO YOU SEE WHAT THE CHILD IS DOING TO ME)

101 IN 1001

2010-01-02T16:03:00.009-07:00

A few months back, I was reading a blog of an old friend. She has inspired my life in so many ways this year, that I thought I would copy this too. I started Project Zero. That means setting 101 goals, big and small and in between, all to be accomplished in 1001 days. It took me nearly 3 months to write my list, it being much more difficult than I had anticipated. Not too many of this or that, not stretching myself too thin, but making sure that it hurt just a little. The purpose is self discipline and making achievable goals. Here it is, my 101 list. Feel free to comment, come along, or make your own list. Thanks Snob, for the list idea and being there for me this year.

101 IN 1001 DAYS
DAY ZERO PROJECT - SETTING GOALS IN LIFE
START 10/21/2009 END 07/18/2012

1 Make the 101 things to do list (Completed 1/2/10)
2 Post the 101 things to do list on my blog (Completed 1/2/10)
3 Adopt Little Miss (Completed 3/18/10)
4 Have a conversation entirely in Spanish
5 Post 10 new pictures on my "event wall" in the living room
6 See a National Park in Alaska
7 Take Little Miss to meet Grammy, Auntie T, etc in Hawaii
8 Take a yoga class
9 Take a cooking class
10 Memorize a verse from the New Testament (Completed 1/10/09)
11 Memorize a verse from the Old Testament (Completed 3/5/10)
12 Volunteer at Habitat for Humanity
13 Volunteer at a soup kitchen
14 Volunteer at a school event for Racer and Princess
15 Take a day trip to the Aravaipa Canyon
16 Babysit kids and give Auntie K & Uncle R Date Night (Completed 12/15/09)
17 Take whole family camping (everyone!)
18 Go to a movie with Katie
19 Have lunch with Jayson
20 Use all of our Monarch Points for a year
21 Take Shannon to the 2011 Homecoming at Dobson
22 Go see Cunningham family (baby Marinn) (Completed 11/3/09)
23 Paint Little Miss's Room Purple with Flowers (Completed 12/9/09)
24 Go to Disneyland
25 Visit with Nana
26 Buy Daddy Final Fantasy XIII (Completed 3/16/10)
27 Mail Christmas Cards by Dec 10th, 2009 (Completed 12/8/09)
28 Mail Christmas Cards by Dec 10th, 2010 (Completed 12/8/10)
29 Mail Christmas Cards by Dec 10th, 2011
30 Clean Office Floor to move in Gym Equipment (Completed 11/1/09)
31 Send Daddy on a fishing trip/charter
32 Teach Longnose to walk on a gentle leader
33 Teach Little Miss how to sing her ABC's (Completed 12/29/09)
34 Get a pedicure with Auntie K
35 Introduce Little Miss to Grandma Suk and Terry (Completed 1/27/10)
36 Introduce Little Miss to the Ramz and the girls (Completed 5/20/10)
37 Take a sick day, take Little Miss to the park (Completed on secret day)
38 Learn to play Madden 2010 for time with Daddy
39 Have a game night at our house with at least 2 other couples
40 Get Daddy to come to church with me (Completed 12/24/09)
41 Attend a Small Group Game/Holiday night with Daddy (Completed 6/3/10)
42 Get a new tattoo
43 Take Longnose and Blackbear to the dog park by myself (Completed 8/20/10)
44 Take an exciting adventure to all the pet stores in town
45 Take old blankets to a no killer shelter
46 Donate old clothes to the Big Brother Truck
47 Buy the tools Daddy needs to build my closet out
48 Design my new closet
49 Build the new closet
50 Find 3 new foods I like to eat with 7 grams of fiber or more (Completed 2/27/10)
51 Run another 5k with Katie, beat our old time, or do it again
52 Walk in a cancer walk
53 See a Broadway play in New York (Completed 11/13/2010) Rock of Ages
54 Do something (big) I don’t want to, just to please Daddy
55 Check all the National Parks in California off on my map
56 Spend a weekend in Cancun Resort Vegas
57 Teach Little Miss a new game on her leapster
58 Read the Road by Cormack McCarthy
59 Donate 15 cases of food to 2nd Sunday
60 Payoff my MGV loan (Completed 11/10/2010)
61 See a movie with adoption girls (Completed 5/4/2010)
62 Send Dad on a 60th adventure (Completed 2/7/10)
63 Send birthday cards/present to every family member for a year
64 Get Uncle M to come to church with me (Completed 2/21/10)
65 Go see a scary movie, that I don't want to see, with Daddy in a theatre
66 Make Daddy take me to a chic flic that he doesn’t want to see, in a theatre
67 Teach Little Miss to recognize 1-10 (Completed 4/24/10)
68 Take a day to curl up with a good book by myself (Completed 12/1/10)
69 Take Princess and Little Miss on an adventure, send Racer/Daddy fishing
70 Organize paperwork in office (Completed 11/03/09)
71 Rollerblade the Scottsdale trail from McDowell to Cactus
72 Teach Little Miss to ride bike wo/ training wheels
73 Take a community college class
74 Finish Financial Peace Baby Steps
75 Play catch with Dad once a month for 6 months
76 Host Thanksgiving at MY house (Completed 11/26/09)
77 Take Little Miss to snow/ learn to ski
78 Volunteer at Sun Valley ministry (Completed 10/17/10)
79 Stick to a prepared budget for 6 months
80 Make Lasagna
81 Go to the Sidewalk Art sale in Tempe
82 Go to a local company play (Mesa Amp or similar)
83 Get a new fish for the fish tank (Completed 12/10/09)
84 Stop what doing what is for me; do something for Little Miss instead (2/26/10)
85 Read all Nicholas Sparks books (Completed 9/24/10)
86 Find a job idea that would light my fire
87 Take all of those recycled bags to the grocery store, three times in a row
88 Learn a new song on my guitar
89 Organize a craft day at my house for all the kiddos (Completed 10/25/10)
90 Get Beth to take cool pics of Little Miss, me, and Daddy
91 Host Christmas at our house (Completed 12/25/2010)
92 Frame Robert Plant and find somewhere to put him (Completed 4/10/10)
93 Make treats for everyone in small group to thank them for being them
94 Hit a double in Sun Valley Softball
95 Introduce myself to 5 new people
96 Organize and Facilitate an Adoption group get together
97 Skydive - real or in tunnel
98 Go shopping an buy more than 4 pieces of clothing, not for work use
99 Put a Sun Valley sticker on my car
100 Go on a mission trip (big or small)
101 Go to Somewhere Amazing to celebrate Little Miss's adoption (Completed 11/11/10)

New Years Eve Eve Party

2010-01-02T14:08:00.004-07:00

Little Miss's preschool decided to have a pajama party and celebrate New Years at noon on the last day of school. It was a great idea! All of the kids were so excited to wear their pj's to school. Little Miss was in a ton of trouble the day before the party. Fits and problems all day. Finally, during bath time, I had enough. I made Little Miss sit on the stool, not moving in time out. She was not behaving very well, so we sat there a LONG time. I decided to make myself useful, and braided her hair into four intricate braids for the party. I wrapped a Do Rag around her head, hoping that the braids would stay overnight. They did. Sorry, no pictures of the actual braids. I was already at work when Daddy got Little Miss ready for the party. I had to take a few before she went to bed though. Can you say "how do you cross a toddler, biker, and a cancer patient?" Answer: Put Little Miss in a white tank, pajamas and do rag! ! Daddy and I laughed all night.

Christmas Bates

2009-12-27T20:14:00.011-07:00

I have fond memories of Christmas as a kid. Making loud noises so everyone would wake up, meeting on our parents bed so everyone went to the living room together, and wearing everything you were given at once... no matter what. Our first Christmas with Little Miss turned out a little differently.

I woke up at 7am, but stayed in bed, until Little Miss came in at 8am. We all had a round of Merry Christmas then went to eat breakfast. Little Miss had yet to fully grasp the concept of presents galore that would be consuming her shortly. We opened one present with Daddy made breakfast. Then after eggs and toast, we sat in the living room for presents. Little Miss was looking sadly at her stocking and said, "Mom- Santa didn't bring me my Teddy Bear". Could have cared less what was there, but there was no bear! We talked about Santa knowing what everyone got her, to be patient. She opened bubbles, fun funky socks, jump rope, and coloring books. She started to enjoy herself and just let go.
Our big present was the play kitchen. She loves them, plays with them at school, the doctor, and at church. Upon having her very own? Her first comment after opening her eyes, "But Mom, there is no FOOD". Thank you Little Miss, for continuing your streak of inappropriate comments at big events. Classic!

We opened all of our presents, Skyped with Grammy to open hers, and went off to Auntie K's house at about noon. We were some of the first ones there, played Lego Rock Band and hung out while the crowd came in. That drumming part is HARD.. we all were horrible at first!
It turned out that 20 people showed, and the presents and seating were both unbelievable. There were people everywhere. The kids all got a crazy amounts of presents. We got fun stuff and had a fun time hanging out. Little Miss finally got her bear (thanks to Uncle M and Miss K and also to Daddy's Aunt) and food for her kitchen (thanks Princess and Racer)... because without those two things... Christmas would have been a disaster!

We stayed at Auntie K's until 8pm. There is a hilarious video of me doing a rendition of "Rudolph the Pooper" while laying on the floor with Auntie K and Little Miss, skyping with Grammy and niece Abs. It was an exhausting and fun and trying day. I will remember it forever. Little Miss had some confusion about where presents came from, who to thank, and what the whole day was about. We had to answer questions all weekend. In the end, it was a very fun day and Little Miss spent ALL weekend in PJ's giving her bears and dolls a picnic with the new kitchen. Whew... she really does love it! (relief)
Side note: My outside the box, art themed, present for Daddy was a success! Led Zeppelin album with custom painted portrait of Robert Plant will be framed soon!
Merry Christmas to All and to All a Goodnight!

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-24T09:32:00.004-07:00

As our first Christmas with Little Miss is about to transpire, I am filled with more anxiety than excitement. As the Doom and Gloom PS-Mapp adoption classes firmly planted in my brain, your most exciting moments will be their most terrified. Little Miss has certainly had a hard time this week. Reflective, overwhelmed, and outright sad. We have managed to turn that frown upside down every time but one. Tomorrow marks the first Bates family Christmas. The presents are wrapped and under the tree.

There will be stories and memories abundant from tomorrow, I am sure. But for now, as this daunting task of turning Christmas into a magical and loving day of family looms, I want to wish all my family and friends the Merriest Christmas of all. For all the support and love and time and advice and shoulders to lean on, Thank You.

DaddySitting

2009-12-19T19:58:00.005-07:00

Friday Little Miss had to stay home from preschool with a high fever. I had the day off (working half day from home) for an MRI on my knee and a court appointment with the foster care review board. Daddy stayed home to take care of Little Miss while I was out. When I came home from court, it was too late for Daddy to realistically go to work across town. I turned around and left, running a ton of errands we had been neglecting. I came home at 3pm. The dogs were at the door, but the house was quiet. After looking around, I found Little Miss curled up snuggling with my husband in our bed. Apparently they had watched Shark Tale, then fell asleep. The menu music was playing over and over again in the background.

This was so adorable. I stood there and watched them for several minutes before sneaking away to get the camera. Despite all the hard times and troubles that we have been through, moments like this are so sweet and endearing they make it all have perspective. Love that Daddy! Nothing makes me love him more, than when he is such a great Dad.

Christmas Time

2009-12-19T13:29:00.006-07:00
There is so much going on at Christmas each year, that I am always reminded of why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. This year promises to be memorable, no matter how it shakes out. There have been a few key Christmas memories that I want to hold on to from the past few days. Here they are in no order whatsoever...

1) Firsts: Little Miss had no idea who Santa was, what a Christmas tree was, why people put up lights and decorations, or even what Christmas was (commercially or spiritually). Getting through these firsts makes me thankful to experience them with her and sad she hasn't had them before.

2) The Nativity Scene: I have an old nativity set made of plaster that my Mom hand painted way way some time ago in the past. I absolutely love it. We haven't set it up in a few years, but being as Little Miss had no idea what Christmas was, I decided that was a good place to start. We had a fun afternoon putting up the people, she asked questions about who they were and where they went, and we made an end table in the living room into the Nativity Scene.... on an extra Halloween spider web... I am resourceful and I didn't have Hay or anything else fancy. Of course, Little Miss's favorite piece was Baby Jesus. She still holds him and plays with the set.

3) Santa: This was tricky. When Little Miss asked Daddy who the man in the big red suit was, Daddy was astounded. He started to explain about Santa and his ways. Little Miss asked Me over dinner that night, "Mommy, When Santa comes can I show him my Baby Jesus?". No, I explained, because Santa only comes at night when good little girls are Sleeping. She thought about it a second... then asked "When Mommies and Daddies are sleeping too?" Yes, I answered (let me make it clear that I should have thought this through a little more at the time). Little Miss replied vehemently that she didn't want him to come and please please please would Daddy and I protect her... she didn't want any of his toys. Oops. Then came the next week of talking about "Magical Santa" and watching Rudolph, Frosty, Santa is Coming to Town, etc. Princess and Racer invited Little Miss to the mall to go see Papa. Auntie K and I devised a "walk by" of Santa... Little Miss was fine and agreed to take a picture after Racer and Princess did it first. Now, Santa is exciting and magical and eats cookies but only with chocolate milk because that is his favorite....

4) Holiday Singing: Little Miss's preschool class has been practicing a few songs to sing for the parents. The day before the performance, Little Miss came home with a 103 degree fever. She is over the fever now, but still fighting off the cold, and thus missed Friday's performance. She was very upset. Daddy and I let her sing for us, but it soon became apparent that she wasn't having any fun, just missing her classmates. Next year, Little Miss, there is always Next Year.

5) The Tree: I love Christmas trees. They are important to me. I was thrilled when Little Miss and I spent a few hours putting the ornaments on the tree, her eyes emitting the same love and sparkle of the tree as I was feeling. While I was explaining the ornaments, she picked up an old rocking horse that had my name on it, when I flipped it over it said 1983. I was moved, and told Little Miss that Grammy had given me this ornament when I was 4 years old. She held the little horse in wonder and said "You were 4 years old like I am 4 years old?". She lovingly put the little rocking horse at her eye level in the middle of the tree. It is her favorite, she tells everyone who comes in the house. She will sit and stare at the tree or make the bells ring or "dance" with the angels almost everyday. Having someone love the magic of a Christmas tree as much as me, Priceless.

The Nutcracker

2009-12-05T20:54:00.006-07:00

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, Auntie K and I took Princess and Little Miss to the Nutcracker ballet. I was offered the tickets by our adoption coordinator, and since Princess takes ballet and Little Miss idolizes Princess... I thought it would be a fun night out.

We got all dressed up, hours of preparation went into our outfits. Okay okay. Auntie K showed up at 4:40 instead of 5pm, and I was reading in my sweats while Little Miss and Daddy were taking a late nap. Whoops! So, we woke up Little Miss and Daddy. I ran to change my clothes while Auntie K did Little Miss's hair. We took a few pictures, which with Little Miss and her smiles is like deciding between Prison Mugshot or Scary clenched teeth smile. Then, when the camera is put away... she smiles like an angel... figures! PS. .. Little Miss and Mommy did not match on purpose, but its cute!

We set off on our fun adventure. We ate dinner at the Olive Garden. Made the girls try black olives, the salad dressing, and various veggies from our salad. We were waiting for a long time to get our food, so played the "eat eat eat EAT" game and ran to the car. We drove to the community center and dropped off Auntie K, with 2 minutes left literally until the woman from the agency was going into the show. Little Miss, Princess and I drove to a nearby parking lot and RAN to the theatre. We actually played red light green light, while dressed up, the whole way.

Our coordinator was there, and Little Miss was so thrilled to show her the new dress she was wearing. She stood up in the theatre and called out her name and waved... thank goodness the show hadn't started! Little Miss was a really good 4 year old sitting through an entire ballet. She was a fidgety after intermission but since I couldn't barely take the ballet, I didn't blame her. Princess thought she was in heaven, I have never seen a kid clap so hard and with the enthusiasm that she did when it was over! Little Miss has no idea what it is about, but didn't like the scary red eyes or the firecrackers. Princess and Little Miss ended up in our laps during the war scene between the Prince and the Rat King. The people sitting next to us chuckled when they flew into our laps very scared at the loud noises.

It was Little Miss's first trip to a show of any kind. She kept her ticket stubs, without any hint or suggestion from us, and wants to go again please... but to one without scary red eyes or fireworks!

Bates? Me?

2009-12-03T19:33:00.003-07:00
Little Miss and I were driving home from the store, either Monday or Tuesday of this week. She said that they were talking about family at preschool. Then, she asked "Mommy, What is Grammy's name?". I told her that Grammy's name was really Sherry. She said, no her WHOLE name. I told her that too. Then that Papa, Mimi, and Uncle M all had the same last name. That Auntie T, Auntie K, and I used to have that last name, before we married. Little Miss was thoughtful for a second. In her silence, I continued to tell her about the family. That Auntie K, Uncle R, Racer and Princess all had the same last name. That Auntie T, Uncle L, and Abs had the same last name....

Then I told her that one day, before she goes to big school, before summer time comes back... that a big Judge was going to tell us we could absolutely keep her forever and ever. On that day, she would become Little Miss Bates. Bates, like Mommy and Daddy. A family.

Little Miss started crying. Which broke my heart, maybe she didn't want to be a Bates after all. Maybe she had an attachment to her current name. Then, she started squealing... or making noises in octaves that only dogs can hear... and started saying "I am so Excited" "I'm so Excited".

She ran in the house, laughing and hugging the dogs, hugging me. When Daddy got home, she ran up to him and told him she was going to be a Bates like us one day... and then bestowed upon him the biggest hug ever. How can you not love that? Pitter Patter goes my heart.

Thanks Giving Bates

2009-11-28T10:09:00.006-07:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday all year. The family gets together, hangs out, eats, and enjoys each other with no other stresses. No presents or dressing up (at least at our gatherings!) or expectations over the day. Just remembering that we have each other and what a blessing that truly is. This year I am filled with thanks for Little Miss, our adoption community, my family, our stable and flexible jobs, Daddy and his utter patience with my endless demands, the food on our table, the community of SVCC through softball and small group, and of course for the workings of God in my life.
This year was our first at having Thanksgiving at our house. We rearranged the refrigerator to fit Daddy's experimental brining turkey in a huge tub. I picked up the whole down stairs, and we did a considerable amount of cleaning, despite my assertions to myself that it was just my family and not necessary. We finished our prep, making sure who was bringing what, turkey in oven, with at least 2 hours to spare. I decided to try my hand at a little braiding and Little Miss loves people to play with her hair. So, then we sat around relaxing until the doorbell rang.

Within 20 minutes of the first arrival, all 11 people were at the house and talking. Papa, Mimi, and kids were enjoying the pool area and the beautiful 80 degree weather that was blessing us with its presence. Auntie K, Uncle R, Adam, and Dan all were playing Blokus or talking and hanging around the house and watching football. Daddy and I were making sure that everyone was good, and everything was taken care of.

Daddy's experimental turkey was AMAZING. Not kind of good, but unbelievably juicy and incredible. We had the usual mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, cranberry salad, rolls, green bean casserole, turkey and ham. We ate and ate and ate... it was yummy!

Alas, after many hours of playing games and being together, the family had to leave. Papa had to work at 3am on Black Friday and Uncle R had to go to his family dinner. We were left, just the three of us, watching Daddy's Broncos smash the NY Giants and Little Miss played Fort.

She actually fell asleep in the fort, where we left her until Auntie K came to pick her up around 8pm. Mommy and Daddy both had to work the next day and Little Miss's preschool was closed.

Special big super Thank you to Daddy. Not only did he cook most of the food, but because of Mommy's knee injury impeding... did most of the cleanup as well. It did not go unappreciated. Daddy, Mommy loves you, you are the best.

Poor Blackbear

2009-11-14T07:54:00.003-07:00

Wednesday started out as a good day. After getting off work, I stopped at the Hostess Outlet store. We used to go there when I was a kid, so its possible that I was a little overzealous with my bread, donut, and snack buying. Luckily, I split it all with Auntie K and looked a lot less ridiculous! Stopping for some milk on the way home, I decided to go into the house through the garage... which is very unusual. I almost always go in the front door. I had 2 or 3 fun errands to run before picking up Little Miss, and I was all motivated and happy about an afternoon of Me Time.

The second that I opened the laundry room door, I knew that something was very wrong. There were blood smears on the cabinet and my 6 year old, slightly overweight...ok very overweight, black lab Blackbear was laying behind the door in a pool of blood. My adrenaline rush at that point was super human. I checked Blackbears entire body, finding that the only injury was a very badly split ear. Grabbing a towel from above the washer, I attempted to stop the bleeding and see the injury better. Saying bleeding is misleading here, my poor Blackbear was GUSHING blood. Quickly I determined that this was not something that Vet Bates was going to fix (something I am known for, as I worked at a vet during and after high school). I locked Blackbear in the laundry room, by ripping the inside laundry door closed. I say Ripped because Daddy Bates installed a hook and eye bolt to hold the door open, but I already told you that I was on an adrenaline high... but I ripped the eye bolt out of the wall and closed Blackbear in. I found Longnose sleeping in the lawn, absolutely fine.

At the vet, they told me that her cut was so bad that they might have to cut off a good portion of her ear. They took her off to surgery and I went home. Needless to say, the 3 hours that it took me to clean the blood was not the wonderful afternoon that I had been expecting! It was everywhere. The fridge, the cabinets, the walls, the couch, the laundry room, the floor... did I mention my COUCH. Mrs. Clean aka Me cleaned the "scary" blood up before Little Miss came home. Auntie K, Racer, and Princess brought Little Miss home and the kids played upstairs while I cleaned.

Our neighbor watched Little Miss when I went to pickup Blackbear. The vet said that he didnt have to cut off her ear, but that he was very concerned about her bloodwork. She has a very high liver reading, and needed to bring it down with $100 a month pills. If it doesnt go down after 1 month, then they needed to do a liver ultrasound and possibly a biopsy. NO! I don't have good luck with dogs of my own. We love our dogs like members of our family, and these incidents were not a good track record. Blackbear is almost 6 and we were sure that we were past all of the bad luck.
Now the task is to keep exuberant 18 month old Longnose from biting Blackbear. We are pretty darn sure that is how she cut her ear. They are really good together, but Longnose is young and accidents happen. When Little Miss came home from the neighbors, she cried and ran to Blackbear hugging her and crying. She was much better after she saw her the next day, Blackbear was her usual hungry self! Now we cross our fingers....

State Fair Bates

2009-11-12T16:54:00.018-07:00

Every year we go to the Fair. Daddy and Mommy love the Fair. We have food that we eat every year, rides we ride every year, and games games games! This year is special. We get to take Little Miss to her first State Fair. Going along on the trip, albeit begrudgingly, were a tired Auntie K, Princess, and Racer.

We all loaded up into Joe (what Daddy named his SUV) and drove the 45 minutes to the fairgrounds. The parking lot was almost empty and we got the best spot! We used our Lowe's receipts for 2 for 1 tickets and had our first "Fair Food" experience right inside the gate! Racer and I had a Corn Dog, Daddy and Little Miss split a huge Hot Dog, Auntie K got a gigantic Diet Coke, and Princess got Nachos. We watched a Clown Man embarass some crowd people and Daddy ate Princess's Nachos, because she didnt realize they had SAUCE. ITS NACHOS!
We got a bazillion tickets to play games and ride rides. Just before Mommy's favorite ride of the whole fair, there was a booth with her favorite Fair food.. the Roasted Corn on the Cob. So, I ate one. I shared with all the kids. Then we all, but Daddy who watched our stuff, rode the TALL CARPET SLIDE! We raced side by side and Little Miss and Mommy won! It was all skill and not at all that Little Miss had to slide with me because she wasnt tall enough to go alone!

There was a ride on the Ferris Wheel, a trip through the Jungle Maze, the House of Mirrors, Pirate Cove (which Little Miss came out of Screaming in Auntie K's arms... too scary Auntie K!), the Kids Corner with tractors, and more slides. We ate donuts, frozen bananas, funnel cakes, fresh lemonade, popcorn, corn on the cob, corn dogs, nachos, ice cream cones, cotton candy, ... I think thats it. I might have missed something...

We were all out of tickets but the kids were very upset that they didnt win any Pokemon toys. So, Daddy went and got another $50 worth of tickets and we did crazy GAME time. Racer threw two baseballs in a row to win a blown up Hammer, when Daddy couldn't, and Racer was very very proud of winning. We threw rings at ducks, darts at balloons, shot basketballs, and squirted water at spiraling monkeys! Daddy was the most winningest Daddy at the whole Fair. He was on FIRE! He won a pig with Little Miss on his lap, he won a dog with the darts for Little Miss who gave it to Racer because he was the only kid without a stuffed animal, he "accidentally" moved his water gun at the last moment for Princess to win her Pug dog, and he schooled some 20 something couple at the water race to win Mommy her Parrot (named Lofa). Daddy was such a great uncle, husband, and daddy at the fair. He was the man of the night: he ate the most food, won the most rides, and took the kids on the Ferris wheel all by himself. I love you Daddy.

Then on the way out, we heard something happening in the Grand Stand. We rushed up and watched the Demolition Derby! It was so loud and ridiculous. We each picked our favorite cars and watched them run around the mud pit. Cars on fire, smoking, bumpers falling off, and people running from wrecks. The kids were a little freaked out by the noise level and we had to leave early. It was so much fun! All of the adults liked it way more than the kids did.

All in all the State Fair 2009 was awesome! Three kids who ate more than their body weight in "Crappy for you but Oh So Yummy" Fair Food and three adults who lived for 3 hours as kids again!

Phantom of the Opera

2009-11-12T16:27:00.006-07:00

For our birthdays, Auntie K and I have started a tradtion a few years back. We give each other two tickets to a Broadway show and always take each other out to dinner before hand. She took me to Wicked this year, which was AWESOME! A 9.5 out of 10 easily. For her birthday, which isn't until December, I got her tickets to Phantom of the Opera, her favorite. It was only showing in November, so we were celebrating early.

We started with dinner at Black Angus, where we laughed and joked and shared all of our food! We had bread, potato skins with sour cream, salads, and NY strip steaks. Auntie K had wine and I had Mountain Dew. She must have made 5 jokes about Designated Driver Mommy while she drank her 1 glass of wine. She cracks me up. Then off to Gammage we went for our show!

Sadly, after a mediocre performance, Auntie K and I were not so impressed with Phantom. I couldn't remember half the songs, and Auntie K missed the fact that one of the actors was black. We made a midnight run to McDonalds... ok I did... for a twist cone and some fries. We laughed about each other not "paying attention" to the show and laughed so hard in the car that my stomach hurt! Or maybe it was the ice cream and fries....

We posed for the camera just before leaving the house... using Princess's favorite camera pose.

Little Miss, Daddy, and Blackbear were having quality time while we were at the show!

Little Miss's Room

2009-11-12T16:08:00.004-07:00

Ever since we brought Little Miss home, I have felt lacking in some Motherly way. In some small part, this had to do with her very institutionally white bedroom. I did not feel inspired, even though the furniture that Daddy and I picked out was Awesome... if I do say so myself.

I enlisted the help of Auntie K, and we set out to paint Little Miss's room in one morning. We put on our tunes, Auntie K taped, I prepped, and we were on our way. We had a few fiascoes. Her nose, my hat, her hair, my hair, and my whole right side all ended up with paint on them... but amazingly... only her nose got a photo! Who's the best? Auntie K is the best! Who's the best? Auntie K is the best! was our chant. We moved the furniture around like He-Women, painted, and applied all of the special appliques!

By the end of the morning, it was awesome. I had completed one small Motherly step. The room was girlie and cute and inspiring! I love it.
.

Mom, what is THIS?

2009-11-12T15:50:00.003-07:00
Even though my last post was on the first of this month, there has been so much going on that I need to "catch up".. so welcome to marathon blogging. I am going to catch up to today or die trying.

On a glorious Sunday afternoon last week, Daddy and I were watching an enjoyable afternoon of football. Little Miss was playing with her new favorite thing, her play doctor set. She was examining all of her stuffed animals. Some needed shots, others had fevers, and she would treat them all accordingly. It was laid back and relaxing, one thing we have missed since Little Miss has come into our lives.

Breaking up this Norman Rockwell moment was our bloodhound Longnose. Longnose was out back howling like there was a raccoon up in a tree right there in our backyard. She would not stop, despite all three Bates' yelling No at various times. Little Miss got up to go yell at Longnose again... and came back to tell Mommy that Longnose was chewing up something in the yard that was not hers. I asked "What?" Little Miss "I don't know. The grass is wet." So, I told her to go put her sandals on and get it. She complied.

Little Miss walked back in the house and handed me the object in question. With an innocent "Mommy, what is this?", she handed me the TAMPON. I was faced with one of those moments, where you decide just HOW much truth to tell. So, straight faced, I said stoically " It's a tampon." Then put it aside. Daddy, still sitting on the couch across from me, said "No Little Miss, that is a tampoon!". Little Miss's eyes lit up. She started guessing what it was for. .. Is it like a marker? No. Is it like a hot dog? No. Is it like a ear cleaner? No. I decided to not tell her what it was, but still Tampon was the new word of the day. I couldn't help but laugh inside every time she said it!

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-01T12:03:00.009-07:00

Halloween Night was a blast! We ate fried chicken in the driveway. We trick or treated over 2 hours. There were at least 20-30 people on the hayride at all times, and when Daddy stopped the ride, it was like an explosion of children running for more candy! Little Miss had never been dressed up or gone door to door before (or so she remembers! ) so she was very nervous at the beginning! After chasing all the other little kids up the streets for awhile, she was a SCREAMING, LAUGHING, HELLION of energy! On the trailer, off the trailer, on the trailer! We were expecting the kids to get sick of the hayride.... but that never happened.
All the kids stayed up until midnight, watching Humphalump Halloween and talking about all the fun they had. All the parents were playing dominoes downstairs and eating... I mean "testing" the candy!

Auntie K, Mommy, and Little Miss

The hayride... the kids thought this was so cooool!

Luigi Racer, Cinderella Little Miss, and Pokemon Trainer Princess

TJ Whoshmanzay Mommy, Cinderella Little Miss, and Ghostbuster Daddy

(And those bruises on my knees... Trapeze 101 war wounds! )

Flying Trapeze Bates!

2009-11-01T11:27:00.007-07:00

That is right people, Mommy the Fearless went on an adventure Saturday morning. For my 30th birthday, Auntie K and clan bought me a flying trapeze lesson. Given that I have a horrid fear of heights, this was an adventure I was looking forward to... and ridiculously scared of all at once. Climbing a 25 foot ladder with rungs no wider than 1 foot hold... Aahahahahghghghhg!!!
Step onto the platform, without looking down!, and get tethered in. My best friend on all the Earth at that moment was Ben. Ben was the one holding me onto the platform, no matter how much that heavy bar was trying to pull me off.
The thrill and scare of the first swing, I will never forget. Combine swinging in the park with cliff jumping and acrobatics... and there you have the flying trapeze! By the end of an hour and half with multiple runs, I was able to swing. Then put my feet up and over the bar above my head, lean back and let go! That is RIGHT people... I flew NO HANDS 30 feet in the air! But my most amazing moment was the 2nd to last run. Not only did I hang upside down.. but righted myself in time to BACK FLIP off the bar into the net!! I even yelled Woooooo HOOOOOOO on the way down!

I highly recommend this adventure for anyone who would attempt it. My knees are bruised, my shoulders hurt, and my abdomen is pumped. It was all so worth it. Auntie K took video, Papa took some pictures, all the kids cheered me on, and Daddy was very very supportive. Thank you Auntie K, Uncle R, Racer and Princess... it was the ride of a lifetime!

Pumpkin Patch

2009-11-01T11:19:00.004-07:00

The weekend before Halloween, Auntie K and I took the three kids to the pumpkin farm. We searched and searched for the right pumpkins.. We played in the hay. We pulled a cart with all of our pumpkins through the maze of people and decorations. This is how our adventure turned out!

Cold Feet Brrrrrggh

2009-10-26T21:46:00.005-07:00
Yesterday morning, I was lazily trying to figure out what time it was. Basically, I was laying with my back to the clock guessing if it was 3am or 6am or 11pm. I was only in suspense for a few moments, when I realized the reason I was awake at all was a rustling noise. I strained to clarify what it was that was making said rustling but nothing seemed to move. 6:03am is what the clock told me, much to my dismay. Church starts at 9am and Little Miss and I leave around 8:30, in order to get her to Sunday School on time. Not enough time to go back to sleep but too much time to get up!

I was just about to roll over and go back to sleep when a whisper from the end of my bed said in a whisper, "Mommy, the dogs are excited! I think they want to eat me for breakfast". Smiling in the dark, I told her that was probably not the case. Then asked her if she wanted to lay down a minute with me. For the first time in a month, she agreed. Then she came up and laid down with her head on my pillow... but face to face... not spooning or snuggling. I closed my eyes for a minute, sooo tired was I, but opened my eyes just for a second to check on Little Miss. Who was laying WIDE EYED looking at my face. I smiled. She smiled. I squeezed her arm. She squeezed my arm. Caught up in this sweet intimate moment with my daughter, we matched Monkey See Monkey Do for several minutes. Then she scrunched up her nose, closed her eyes, nestled down in the covers and STUCK HER FREEZING COLD BARE FEET ON MY STOMACH.

I let out a small audible "oooooooohhh" and swallowed my outburst, as Daddy was sleeping 2 feet to my left. I thanked God for that little moment with my daughter and made a mental note to call Papa and apologize for the years that I woke him up like that.

Adoption Process

2009-10-25T11:19:00.004-07:00
I have been asked on multiple occasions to recount our adoption journey. It probably will be something to come back to, once this overwhelming part is over, and so I will do so in a few parts.

To start, we must answer the question of "Why adoption?". Daddy M and I have been trying to have a family of our own for nearly 6 years. We wouldn't have started so early or so intensely, if it hadn't been for my health issues. "Have them Now or Never" is what the doctors kept saying. Surgery after surgery, fertility treatment, surgery, recovery, fertility treatment and on and on. Nothing worked. We were being told that Invitro would have a 2% chance of working (where do they come up with this stuff? 2% ... so you're saying there's a CHANCE!). Daddy and I had to face the fact that a $20k investment in starting our family meant a 2% chance of success with our own child or a 100% chance with adoption. We grieved, tried other ways to pretend it wasn't happening to us, and even ignored starting a family. For Daddy, this ignoring was a much easier process. He wasn't ready, or even sure, that family was what he wanted. Thank God that he was sure about one thing, that Mommy was what he wanted. If a family is what I needed, then a family we would have.

We went to a presentation for international adoption, feeling that if we were "buying the family" then we might as well buy one that looked like Daddy. $20k became $30k and the process requires HUGE cash deposits upfront. This was just another huge mountain, in what already seemed like an impossibly difficult journey. With the housing market, stock market, and economy being what they are, I felt like convincing Daddy to pour this kind of money for a baby was not going to happen. You still have to pay for the baby once you get it, and that wouldn't really be possible without moving to a trailer in the not so great parts of town. So, I started looking into the other ways to start a family.

While looking into ways of feeding my baby addiction, I stumbled upon a crisis center that I volunteered at in high school. It turns out that they opened an adoption agency wing. I started reading the material, found out that the process was free.. and set out on convincing Daddy that 16 weeks of classes, certifications, background checks, and mess was worth saving $20k, and that saving a child from a bad background was a noble and rewarding thing. Ultimately, we compromised (which is why I love our marriage so much) on going through the process but only to accept a white or Asian child from newborn to 2 years old. Basically, as we saved for an adoption, if they were going to give us a child in our criteria then it was a step in the same direction. We signed up and started our classes.

16 weeks of Wednesday night classes for 3 hours at a clip, First Aid certification, background checks, fingerprints, financial disclosure, family and friend and work testimonials, house inspections, psychological interviews together and alone.... and the most unexpected thing... FANTASTIC FRIENDS. A support group with a common purpose, common fears, common experiences, very very different backgrounds and stories, but a dedicated supportive group of people. Without my Wednesday Night Wannabe's ... there would be no Little Miss... because Mommy and Daddy never would have made it through all of the classes.

Finally, on July 1st, we were State Certified Adoptive Parents! Now that we were on the registry waiting list, with nothing else to do, it would be the simple matter of waiting. Ha! ha hahaahha. Did I say SIMPLE? This was the MOST excruciating part!!! Seeing teenager mothers at McDonalds cuddling their babies, going to parks and seeing all the kids play, hanging out with Racer and Princess at family get togethers, were all STARK reminders of what I didn't have. What seemed like forever (like the Sandlot scene.. FOR... E...VER) and forever, turned out to be just short of 3 months of waiting.

Daddy!

2009-10-21T22:33:00.002-07:00
On Saturday, Little Miss was chasing the dogs around the house. Everyone was on Excitement Level 6, when M entered the game of chase/tickle/run. During all of the excitement, Little Miss ran up to M screaming "Tickle me Daddy!" and the whole room was sucked of its air. M turned to me and raised an eyebrow, which I returned in stunned fashion. We agreed in hushed conversation shortly thereafter to start referring to each other as Mommy and Daddy. Daddy and Mommy were cemented within 24 hours. There were several "Chr... Mommy can I have a drink" or "Miste... Daddy come here please" moments that Little Miss corrected herself on during that period. All of which made me smile. Now, there is no hesitation. It has been confirmed, and we are taking notice of all the times that she says it with a little smile in our hearts.

Fun at the zoo

2009-10-15T13:29:00.003-07:00

Zoo Bates

2009-10-09T16:11:00.001-07:00
The whole clan went to the zoo yesterday, minus Uncle M who had to work. Papa, Mimi, Auntie K, Uncle R, the Racer and Princess. We got to the zoo a whole HOUR before it opened... despite being a MEMBER of the zoo... Auntie K thought it opened at 8 not 9. We spent our extra hour eating donuts at the local Dunkin store. Little Miss's first trip to the zoo was a fun experience. We pushed a double stroller, to give Little Miss, Racer, and Princess ample opportunitites to rest. We also ran into a friend from the old neighborhood at the zoo, Amanda Banana was there with her family as well! It was so much fun to see them again and exchange stories. Little Miss rode the carousel and raced her cousins on the Cheetah MPH gauge. M, Uncle R and Papa all tied for the lead at 14 mph. I came in "2nd" at 13mph. We had a great time, no fits or crying, and headed home about 1pm. Little Miss had so much fun, that she forgot her manners at the zoo. Instead of napping, she decided to be a defiant little monster. For over an hour and a half, she refused to stay in bed and rest or nap. We had some clean up time around the house, ate dinner, and then had major bath time and straight to bed. She was so exhausted from the zoo, not resting and being Stinkface, that she fell asleep in like 5 minutes in the rocking chair. Papa took fun pictures at the zoo. I will post them tomorrow.

Stare Down Bates

2009-10-08T14:29:00.001-07:00
After only 24 hours in our house, the following story just has to be relayed. Little Miss was placed with us Friday night. On Saturday, we had our pre-planned baby shower. This posed several problems with what to tell Little Miss the party was for and how to introduce people. Finally we decided on the truth, that all of our friends and family were coming to celebrate her living with us. The party started at 3pm at the park around the corner from our house. At about 12:30pm, Little Miss started yawning while playing with the husband (M). I told Little Miss that she could lay down and rest before the party, so she would have the energy to play at the park. This was my first encounter with the StinkFace. It so absolutely screams No Way in Hell or Over My Dead Body or F You... whichever is your term. So, I told her again. She started screaming, crying, kicking, punching, etc. I picked her up and took her upstairs. I walked up and down the hall telling her to breathe and calm down. I told her that when she was done, that we were going to talk. After 10 minutes or so, she was reduced to a sort of grunt/growl noise. I put her down on her feet in the hallway. I gave her the option of going in her room for a nap or laying down with M to rest and watch cartoons. She gave me back the StinkFace. I told her that she had to answer me when I asked her a question, and I would wait for her choice. 10 minutes later we were still staring at each other standing in the hall. She hadn't done a single thing for 10 minutes since coming to live with us the night before. Then the moment of truth... she BLINKED. I knew right then that I had won. After a few more minutes, she sat down cross legged and Stinkfaced. 15 minutes after that, she laid down with her hands behind her head, to give herself the right angle for the continuation of Stinkface. Another 10 minutes after that, I calmly picked up my new little girl, who was DEAD ASLEEP in the middle of the hall. I put her down in her bed, tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and went to get ready for the party! Parents 1 Little Miss 0

Little Miss

2009-10-07T10:59:00.003-07:00

Blank Bates

2009-10-07T10:20:00.002-07:00
After several requests for pictures and my initial thoughts on our adoption placement, I was getting tired of saying too bad so sad. Our little girl has a security problem. That is that Birth Mom and family have a drug and violence problem, and if they knew where we were and who we were - there would be problems. Thus, in this small world, placing pictures on FB or other sites is not a good idea. A friend of a friend of grandma might say they know who we are. Thus, an anonymous blog. The Blank Bates is my creative way of blogging " _____ Bates", as in ... fill in the blank. Maybe we are Tired Bates or Sad Bates or Blessed Bates.. We will have to see where it leads. Also, being off for 6 weeks of maternity leave, and always feeling a compulsion to write. This seems like a good medium to fix several problems. Our last 5 days has been quite the hilarious, infuriating, and challenging of our lives. I look forward to keeping a journal of our adventures and having everyone read along!